back in jan 1998 i started this web site as a personal creative outlet and because i was seeking some sort of applause or praise at how strange or eccentric or disturbed i was. i was trying to be something i'm not.
i have been over the years impressed by certain music (more on that inside) or movies and instead of celebrating the wonderful uniqueness and originality of the particular artists, i became jealous and wanted to be seen as being just as clever and original. but i'm not. i am who i am, and that is good enough for me.
after going from one single-sided relationship to the next, i have grown tired of being alone. i have since decided that life is too short to play those sorts of games. i am also recovering from years and years of having my high ideals belittled, ridiculed, minimalised and ignored. i am trying to find a space and time where i can tear free from the deception that kept my mind and heart tied in knots and stunted my relational and spiritual growth. i do believe that every dark cloud has a silver lining. but it's still raining pretty hard, and probably will be for a while.
yet having started that journey to freedom, i am finding many friends walking there with me. some were there all along, and now that i'm finally waking up from my stupor i can see them. others i'm meeting for the first time, and i'm finding that there are other pilgrims out there, like me, who are not afraid to be transparent, and who too want to stop playing games, and get it right.
for them, and for anyone else who trips in to my deep room, this space is for you, enjoy. and peace to you all.