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three eleven

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there's something familiar
in your smile
it's like a dream i had
where my heart felt unafraid
for the very first time

yet we've shared only a dozen words
and my emotions are so raw
right now
this is a dangerous time for me
wise counsel would advise caution
in every word, thought and feeling

so why, when i close my eyes
do i see your face
and why, when i wake up at night
do i hear your name
over and over
it's haunting
and so inviting
and i don't even know you
or know who you are

yet even now, my heart burns within me
and my mind is filled with words
and images
that i feel compelled
to pour out here

but i won't
i need some time
time to heal
and to move on
time to be sure
i'm not projecting something on you
that isn't there

God, help me
you alone know the source of my emotions
truly you are the only right judge
and only your scales are even and fair
weigh my heart
and tell me if i am found lacking

© 2001 (11 march) john r. chase

the story you're about to read is true. it's told in this and the next four poems. all names but mine have been removed, as i am the only one not innocent...