wow, there's a lot here. i am rediscovering my true self; the sensitive, caring, gentle, nurturing, affectionate me that came out of my mother's womb a little over thirty years ago. as one of the songs i have written says, "somewhere in the middle i got lost" and became the fearful, angry, self-protective, critical person from which i am now in recovery. so what i'm trying to say without drowning you in psycho-babble is that the real me, the good me has always been there. that me desires a level of intimacy in relationships that scares most people. the problem is that although that desire has never gone away, the "damage done" over the years has stripped me of the tools i was created with to make it happen. without saying anymore, that is basically what this poem is about.