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i was just thinking

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As this dark night
comes to an end,
and I see the sun
as if it were for the first time,
(perhaps it is...)
and I find that someone
deep inside
was waiting all this time,
someone who was beaten
and left for dead
long ago,
someone beautiful,
and thoughtful,
and full of life,
and hopeful,
and courageous,
and as I find myself
again and again
pinching my skin
to prove I'm not dreaming,
and as all the weights
of the past
drop off
like dead scales,
and as truly,
for the first time,
possibly ever,
I feel alive...

I just wanted to tell you,
you're in to me through and through,
you're under my skin,
you're in my head and heart,
and the smell of your skin
is with me here and now,
and it melts me
into a puddle beneath your feet,
and that you know,
you know,
long ago I lost my belief
that my soul had a single match,
designed from destiny,
but you have come,
so gently,
with such force,
so unexpectedly,
when I was content with my convictions,
and removed all doubt.

And now I can never go back,
for now I am completely in to you,
now all that was out of place,
all that was lying on the ground in pieces
is swept away, washed out to sea.
Truly, all poetic devices aside,
I could write these words for you
straight from my heart
from now until eternity,
yet it would all be a miserable failure
in truly trying to describe
who you are,
and how you draw who I am out of me,
and what you mean to me,
and how much
I truly

© 2002 (11 january) john r. chase

this doesn't belong here. i have many times penned words about these subjects, and afterwards in pride considered that i had again said all the right things, and was a master of romantic logic. yet this is very different. i find my words are failing me. my pitiful attempts don't even come close to scratching the surface. no song i hear, or movie i watch even approaches it. it's so far beyond, so far beyond, so far beyond. . .