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fourteen
now fifteen
and a few more
unnamed
all
unread
electrons
shrouded from the masses

why this fear
of expression
why this tendency
to fabricate
a thousand watching eyes
and judgmental thoughts
and words

perhaps this
is what separates
me
from the great ones
they wrote
and spewed
and gushed
with abandon
carelessly
without thought of their audience
(or did they?)

yet i do have history
that casts a shadow
many words
revealed like these
judged
misunderstood
isolating

who cares
for my thoughts
shouldn't i
just keep it all inside
hidden
as every good speck should

if i bothered
to take the time
to compose
everything i desired
all would see
a frenzied heart
flying lose in the wind
no grounding
no direction

the illusion of greatness
casts an average shadow
this is what happens
when there's too much time
to think

© 2003 (5 september) john r. chase


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