untitled :: prev :: next :: you know i'm stuck. i can't send a note, nor call. i just want to know what you're thinking. i can't do this again without debriefing, i can't. my friends tell me to let it go. maybe i should. but i can't. i keep telling myself to fight, to not let you get away twice. i was a fool to do so once before. if things were more settled in my life i probably would. if i had a place for you right now i know i would. but maybe i need to stop being so practical. i just wish i knew what was going on. i can't believe i am where i am. having 220 volts of rejection run down my spine twice now in only one revolution of the earth. i know this too shall pass. (no it won't) but right now you have no idea how badly i want it to all be over, to close my eyes and sleep for eternity. this life is a game not meant for people like me who are so deep, and care so much, and i want to stop playing. i'm tired, and i'm lonely, and i can't take any more pain. "your f'in with my happiness!" that's what he kept saying. too bad he doesn't care about YOUR happiness as much as i do. i'll keep praying, that you'll either find the courage to wake up, or i'll find the courage to wake you up, aren't you tired of sleeping? i am. it's 3 a.m. i'm wide awake, and i'm waiting for you. i still "have" faith. it was a gift from you. i'll cherish it always. i'll never lose it. © 2001 (23 july) john r. chase
|
|
|