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this morning

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why can't i hold her now?
she needs me to be with her,
and i need it just as much.

the graces and impositions
have been stretched too thin,
and this glass floor
on which we walk and live
could shatter and fall through.

but she needs me now.
i know she has what it takes
to make it alone,
i know at the end of the day
it will all work out.
yet why must she suffer,
why this tension, this pressure?

here we are.
the most selfish person
i have ever personally known
drop-kicked us from the heights of pride
and now,
here we are.

come to me, my love.
i will hold you again.
can you forgive me,
let me hold you close,
tell you how proud i am of you,
tell you, a little while
and everything will change?
you have been so patient,
so strong,
so understanding.
but your time to relax
and find joy again
is coming.
hold on a little longer
my sweet girl,
just a little longer.

Father, surround her with comfort,
hold her now that i can't,
wipe the tears from her eyes,
as you do mine,
let me see her tonight,
if only for a moment,
to hold her close,
and kiss her cheek,
and reassure her that
when she hurts
i hurt.
take our sadness,
remind us of who you are,
and the depth of your love,
and your promise of prosperity,
for our lives and our souls.

© 2002 (8 january) john r. chase


the events of that morning left me feeling hollow. but i know, all this nonsense will soon be coming to an end. then, as one part of our journey concludes, a new one begins. . .