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      I rise, i dry a tear
      catch my breath, consider my words.
      The pain you have given me;
      you and your immaculate world!
      when i cry, i cry for you.
      if only i could speak, then
      your freedom would you find.
      I try to think my way out.
      If i told you, you would only
      hurt me even more.
      Now is simply not the time to speak.
      All of what i've fought for,
      all of my foolish speech,
      all my insane actions
      all my logical arguments
      They have proven nothing
      nothing to you, nothing to me.
      The sounds now fill my tormented mind.
      A nervous heart to match my head.
      So you say you hear
      "It will be all right"
      but i see you saying
      "just don't think about it"

      I thought myself too strong to fall
yet my fall was so hard, i can't tell if i'm still down

© 1986 john r. chase

the split between a close high-school friend and i coincided with a time when i began to take my faith in jesus christ more seriously. this poem is about wanting to share my faith with him, but knowing that the rift in our relationship would most likely drown out anything i would say.